Today, I was thinking about why I never had much interest in sports in school. I mean, there I was surrouned by a variety of athletics and nothing grabbed me. I even had a father who was a star athelete in school. And yet, I took the road of chess, gaming, and yes, even the library club.
I didn't even quite qualify for nerd because I wasn't particularly exceptional at science or a great piano player or something like that. Sure, I could read by the time I was three, but the rest of the world catches up, well most of them anyway.
I'm not being down on myself. I like who I am. I'm just trying to figure out why I'm on the road I'm on in relation to sports. Even now, I find very little pleasure in watching professional sports and think many of the athletes could be doing something better with their time and the world could be doing something better with it's money. But, I know with these thoughts I'm not being fair to professional sports which has brought much joy and challenge into people's lives.
I used to think it was the people that drove me away from sports, but I'm not so sure. One thing I do know, It was impossible to find a jock at my school that wasn't a jerk--at least to me. Jock... Jerk... perhaps it's not a coincidence these two words are spelled so similalrly. But, of course, looking at the other side, I did things--whatever they were, perhaps it was simply existing--that made these jocks uncomfortable. So, they lashed out. And of course, it might have been the crap in their own lives that made them jerks so they would be jerks to anyone regardless of who they were. There are so many variables to consider.
Now, here I am doing the PCP. It's not sports. It's not competitive--except with myself. And I find it worthwhile, challenging and absolute hell sometimes, but worthwhile. Perhaps it's because my goal isn't to score points, but to improve myself so I get more of the thing I love so much--time to do the things I love.
Sorry, this is a bit or a ramble that goes nowhere, but, like I said, I'm still figuring it out. The PCP has brought this to the surface and I'm wondering if, by not embracing sports, I'm missing something. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. I'm still thinking. One thing, I do know for sure. Back in highschool, I might have welcomesd the invitation to play a sport for fun, now, I'm not so sure I would. I just want to be healthy. I don't need to put myself in a place where I can get injured. I have a family to think of. Hmmm. I have a friend who plays pretty serious American football with no salary here in Japan. He recently got married. I wonder if he will give up the sport he loves when he has a family to consider. The other side of the coin I'm examining perhaps?
Funny where the mind goes when you're web-swinging...er...I mean exercising.
More tomorrow,
Sean
I'm really not down with sports either. I like moving around and such but just don't get into organized games. Aside from ultimate frisbee that it is.
ReplyDeleteI could never get into team sports. I guess it's hard for me to rely on other people. I always preferred activities that would also double as a kind of moving meditation.
ReplyDeleteI did the original PCP completely alone and in silence and really enjoyed it. But I soon found that most people don't have the tolerance for that kind of solitude. There's gotta be something social or an activity tends to become just a creepy thing you do in your basement.
Oh man, I could have written this same exact post. Seriously, like, down to the details. I was a nerd but not particularly smart at anything but language, which I didn't tap into until recently.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is I was just thinking about this at work. Why did I not do sports? The thing is, I love movement. I love things like dance, and the more I think about it, Parkour is kind of like a dance (and a moving meditation). And when the PCP is over, I plan to do martial arts.
Also, I was thinking about competition. I never thought of myself as competitive, but it occurs to me that I was only that way because I lacked confidence and I figured I'd lose so I didn't even bother.
But with this fitness, that changed. The testosterone and the new confidence has awoken something.
My Aussie friend thinks I'm an arrogant prick for saying that French is an easy language, so I'm going to learn it as fast as possible (five months? maybe sooner?) just so I can rub it in her face.
Now how is that for competitive?